Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, Dec. 23rd 2010

Polar bears are perverts, Joe Romm tries to roll back global warming climate change labels and will President Obama sell West Virginia to the Chi-coms?

This is the 50th (!) and last round-up of the year, complete with smokin’ hottie. Grab an eggnog and huddle up around the bonfire of the warmities.

Part One: Al Gore & Friends

Should we be worried about Al Gore? He didn’t show at Cancun after admitting he felt depressed about it, and this week he only popped his head over the parapet of one of his mansions to warn us that 2010 is the warmest year ever. Except it’s not, and ‘ever’ is only since about 1850. That’s 160 years, which compared to the geologic age of the planet makes the observation weather, not climate. But that’s a distinction Al is unable to make.

Merry Christmas Al, wherever you are.

David Suzuki sends an odd Christmas message that has more to do with the Solstice than Christmas, but he’s a hippie who believes fervently in the neo-paganism of global warming, so what did we expect?

Our word yule comes from the pre-Christian Scandinavian tradition of lighting fires to celebrate the warmth and light of the returning sun. Many indigenous people have also celebrated the shift to longer days and the impending rebirth of life when plants would spring up and animals would emerge from hibernation.

I have no idea where he’s going with that, but Merry Christmas Dave.

Thanks to reader Ed who sent in a picture that may or may not be Doc Suzuki. You have no idea how easy it was not choose this as the hottie:

Part Two: AGW Scaremongers

Joe Romm takes on something he calls the ‘dumbest denier myth’, the idea that progressives re-labeled global warming when the weather refused to follow the warming narrative. His thesis makes a case that people called global warming ‘climate change’ and vice versa long before global warming stopped in 1998. Okay, he didn’t say it exactly that way, but then he didn’t address the ‘global weirding‘ or ‘climate disruption‘ labels - both of which progressives invented after global warming and climate change became punch lines.

Oh noes, global warming will cause polar bears to get it on with grizzly bears and give us grolar bears, or something. Who knew that hippies were against inter-racial species procreation? Bigots!

Sir David Attenborough wants TV shows in the UK to be allowed to push opinions. As long as the opinions are approved, naturally.

Oh noes, Gaia is angry - she is going to ‘strike back‘. AP journalists mistake a planet for a living entity and a Star Wars plotline, or something:

This was the year the Earth struck back. Earthquakes, heat waves, floods, volcanoes, super typhoons, blizzards, landslides and droughts killed at least a quarter million people in 2010 - the deadliest year in more than a generation. More people were killed worldwide by natural disasters this year than have been killed in terrorism attacks in the past 40 years combined.

Watts is unimpressed.

Wikileaks unmasked some behind the scenes action from 2009′s Hopenchangen in Copenhagen and discovered the Obama administration had played a game of ‘nice country, shame if something happened to it‘ with nations not toeing the green line.

Global warming will kill you. Dead. For reals. It must be a true, a doctor said so:

“… leading medical and public health groups across the country agree: climate change is hazardous to our health.”

Fun with hippies, Christmas edition: The Twelve Days of an IPCC Christmas.

More bear news, polar bears are not endangered. It’s true, remember the government is now run by the man who promised that his nomination signaled “the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal”. Pass the popcorn and enjoy as the WWF and Greenpeace search for a new photogenic critter to market their nonsense. Oddly, some activists want to save the bears so hunters can pump them full of lead. Wait, what?

Tom Friedman sees a large conspiracy of skeptics, but holds out hope that the US military will save the planet by going green. You may recall Nellis AFB already went green, but the math for the project was flawed:

…the 72,000 solar panels cost $100 million and saves the Air Force $1.2 million annually, so it’ll pay for itself in about 83 years. What a shame the useful life of a solar panel is only 20 years.

You know what causes harsh winters? Global warming, that’s what. Because weather is climate only when it’s hot.

British hippies were infiltrated by the cops - for seven years. The officer is out now and being reintroduced to soap.

Grist published the Top 10 green stories of 2010, but are conservatives really afraid of China’s rise in green tech, or is that Al Gore?

When green initiatives attack - California approves forest clear-cutting to save the planet.

The Dalai Lama figures getting his country back can wait, but global warming can’t. I’m sure Tibetans are thrilled that a daft western hoax that claimed their mountain glaciers were melting when they weren’t now takes priority over freedom.

California governor Schwarzenegger is out of a job in the new year, but he’s got an eye on a new opportunity - Obama’s climate czar. The Austrian musclehead believes he’s qualified because he drives a Hummer, or something:

“… people are very receptive when I talk about these things because I’m a Hummer driver … not a tree hugger.”

Truther Van Jones let the mask slip when he told people to pretend to be green to allow the EPA to regulate industry. Coincidentally, the President is trying to get the EPA to regulate what Democrats were unable to legislate. Lawyers across America must be celebrating.

President Obama’s Homeland Security Secretary is not only protecting Americans 364 days a year, she’s also on that global warming threat.

The Guardian was surprised to find that skeptic books sell well, because they have no idea about their own bias. Why would they, they never see the other side of the debate and when they do, it frightens them.

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

Britain and Europe are doomed. This week saw Christmas travelers stuck in European airports as global warming covered runways and exposed the problems caused when bureaucrats prepare for the wrong problems. If Britons think that a few days delay at Heathrow is bad, just wait until they see what green thinking has done to their energy supply. Even the Prime Minister can’t hide the awful truth, yet still remains committed to the green dream:

”Our electricity generation capacity is clapped out and needs replacing and so that has to be paid for, yes, but if we make sure it is green, safe, reliable and cheap, actually in the long run that will be good for consumers.”

Germany is facing the same problems, for the same reasons.

One skeptic organization is taking on the UK’s Met Office for having a warmist bias.

Maybe the UK government should scrap the Met and pay Piers Corbyn instead - he gets a lot more right than the bloated bloviators of Exeter:

Back in November, when the Met Office was still doing its “mild winter” schtick, Corbyn said it would be the coldest for 100 years. Indeed, it was back in May that he first predicted a snowy December, and he put his own money on a white Christmas about a month before the Met Office made any such forecast. He said that the Met Office would be wrong about last year’s mythical “barbecue summer”, and he was vindicated. He was closer to the truth about last winter, too.

Don’t tell hippies, but Corbyn’s secret - It’s the Sun, stupid.

Powerline looks at the failed predictions of warmists and states a plain truth about science:

…a scientific theory that implies predictions that turn out to be wrong, is false.

Ouch.

It’s not just the UK that is having problem with forecasters, NASA GISS has been behaving badly again. Remember - GISS is the home of global warming muppet and civil disobeyer Jim Hansen, so grains of salt are required whenever they release anything more complex that the lunch room menu for the week.

More credible scientists at NASA are worried about the cold. We’ve had ice-age warnings before, as Marc Morano documents.

Hasta la vista to Cancun:

In the spirit of Copenhagen, civilization has again dodged the bullet of mass hysteria. A new dark age of deindustrialization has been evaded, and another nail has been driven into the coffin of the Kyoto accord. There was never any real possibility that major developing nations such as China and Brazil would line up to commit economic suicide, and agree to hobble their burgeoning industries by firmly limiting carbon dioxide emissions, while less developed countries would be free to do whatever they wish.

Tom Nelson notes the ice-free Arctic promised by hippies isn’t exactly free of ice.

Countering the Grist Top 10 green stories -here’s a top ten bad things for warmists list.

The inconvenient truth about electric vehicle subsidies:

By looking at the sales trends the Marshall Institute demonstrates that these cars not commercially viable without the large government subsidies. The demand for the current generation of hybrids has dropped as gasoline prices declined from their 2008 highs. Analysts have estimated that gasoline would have to increase to $4 a gallon or more to stimulate demand for hybrid electric vehicles. The study concludes that: “Without subsidies and political pressure, it is doubtful that there would be much demand, except by the wealthy early adopters who want to make an environmental statement.”

Oh noes, the National Commission on Energy Policy is closing its doors. Other warmists are turning to ‘soul-searching’ and ways of continuing the global warming ‘fight’ without support from a credulous Washington. Good luck with that, hippies.

Did you know that volcanoes account for 50% of global warming? But your light bulbs and SUV are killing the planet.

Our Aussie friends are in mid-summer right now, enjoying the hot weather they are known for. Oh wait, nevermind. No worries mate, the hardy antipodeans can thaw a tinny on the barbie, grab a snow sheila and go skiing, or something.

They said that California’s global warming laws would create green jobs, and they were right. The jobs are actually in Kansas and used to be in Berkeley, but that’s just geography.

Global warming causes freezing winters, unless they don’t. Joe Bastardi tells it the way it is:

“Well, I’ve been saying what I believe is going on is this is the big debate between the natural cycles and the forces of AGW [anthropogenic global warming] – by the way, these folks claiming that global warming is causing severe cold is like the kid on the playground who doesn’t get his way and takes his ball home.

An Aussie plan to make homes more energy efficient has been scrapped. Does that mean the planet has been saved?

Carbon offsets were supposed to save us from global warming, so how did they end up fueling a black market in CFC gases?

Science, not settled. Not even close.

Richard Branson, the greenwashing hypocrite is a climate criminal - space tourism is bad for the planet:

…if space flight is to become everyday, it soon may need something that other everyday forms of transportation already require: emissions standards. A recent study found that the sooty output from just 1,000 commercial space flights a year — well within reason, considering that Virgin Galactic is not likely to be the only carrier ferrying passengers into space — could be enough to alter Earth’s climate, by raising temperatures, melting sea ice, and altering ozone levels worldwide.

More bad news for hippies - compact fluorescent lamps are found to be bad for pregnant women and babies.

Part Four: AGW in the News

The Guardian calls 2010 the “Year of the Sceptics” (sic), yet cannot hold back hope that 2011 will see warmists rise from the ashes:

…scientists are realising that pure research ain’t enough: they need to communicate much better, too – and engage openly with their adversaries. The more that happens, the more threadbare the rhetoric of denial will appear.

What the Guardian forgets is that climate scientists cannot engage their adversaries without first sharing their data - something that they are afraid to do because they know how shaky the scientific foundation is on global warming.

The US Interior Department has started shortlisting land for up to 214,000 acres to be used for solar power plants.

The UK press has woken up to the looming energy shortage, at long last.

Whatever the weather - global warming did it:

If it’s a drought, or a long spell of hot and dry weather, they think we must be doing something to nudge up the Earth’s thermostat. If it’s a nasty hurricane or a notably destructive line of tornados, it’s our fault for driving SUVs. If riverside communities get flooded, that’s also the result of global warming. And if we get an unusually harsh and lengthy winter, yes, that, too, is proof that the Earth is getting warmer.

Lord Tebbit wonders why global warming always has to be a disaster. It’s the nature of the warming beast that it must frighten people. To expect hippies to act otherwise would be akin to asking Michael Bay to remake Pride & Prejudice without including explosions and at least one gratuitous helicopter fly-by. It can’t be done.

Cave men managed to cope with changing weather climate, so we should be fine, right?

Seattle hippies took delivery of the city’s first Nissan Leaf. Remember to point and laugh as they trundle by.

Engine manufacturers are suing the US government to block laws that will increase the level of ethanol to 15% from 10%. If you wonder why the need for the increase, it’s because ethanol makers can’t give it away without legislative support.

Green Christmases, not all that great actually.

Bolivia stood alone against the world at Cancun, now we know why:

The “Cancún accord” was presented late Friday afternoon, and we were given two hours to read it. Despite pressure to sign something – anything – immediately, Bolivia requested further deliberations. This text, we said, would be a sad conclusion to the negotiations. After we were denied any opportunity to discuss the text, despite a lack of consensus, the president banged her gavel to approve the document.

Pesky nations demanding time to read documents, not even the US congress bothers with that.

Delingpole laments the looming bullet shortage when the time comes for him to line hippies up against the wall.

The Daily Mail refuses to print the ‘cold weather is proof of global warming’ line and instead gives its readers… facts.

China is short of coal. America sits on the world’s largest coal reserves. China owns trillions of dollars of US debt. This may not end well. Unless President Obama trades West Virginia in return for reducing the debt, then China gets coal, Obama lowers the debt, loses bitter-clingers and carbon polluters. What could possibly go wrong?

Part Five: Global Hottie

This is the final Round-up of 2010 as I take some time to enjoy Christmas and unwrap a little something under the tree. On the topic of little somethings, Jennifer Love Hewitt is only 5’2″, but she packs a lot of hotness. No silly santa-hatted blondes for discerning skeptics, our last hottie of the year is all sultry, all the time.

Thanks for reading, I wish you a peaceful and Happy Christmas.