Al Gore is back and planning a fearfest for September.
But before you run for the bunkers, here’s three reasons you should just relax about global warming.
1. There’s been no global warming in the last ten years.
Don’t take my word for it, NASA’s own measurements confirm that, despite rising CO2 levels, global temperature hasn’t budged.
2. Coca-Cola is still legal.
If mankind was truly threatened by carbon dioxide, what are the chances we’d be allowed to enjoy fizzy drinks injected with the stuff?
3. Underwhelming leadership
Testing times often bring the best leaders to light, those glorious individuals who can look peril in the eye, defeat it and still be home for dinner at six. Winston Churchill was the right man to lead Britain against the Nazi threat, George Washington led America to Independence, and Sammy Hagar saved Van Halen when David Lee Roth quit the band. The best that the global warming threat has produced are Al Gore and Weepy Bill McKibben.
See what I mean? Relax already, the planet’s fine.
Oh, wait. Did I mention Weepy Bill McKibben? You know what that means.
*click*
Round-up tomorrow.
Yep, I have said for years that all my lefty pals who sit at the pub and babble on about manmadeglobalwarmingthatwilldestroytheplanetandkillusall! will turn against it as soon as AlGore says, “Beeeer iz uh signivigant sohwerce of glowbul warming gazzes an’ must be curtailed. Or, heav’ly taxed. An’ I have just the cump’ny to sell them carbon credits!”
Not just beer - any fermentation process drives off a lot of CO2. They may come after my whiskey next!
Wait, fermentation drives off a lot of CO2?… How do they make that crap that they insist on using to contaminate my gas again?
Who gives a good God damn about choka cola What worries me is what they could do to BEER.The mind boggles.
She’s Monica Belluci.
My apologies for not identifying the damp hottie.
Who is the hottie? Somebody famous, or just a random wet chick?