Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, Jan 20th 2011

Al Gore has been listed as an endangered species on the Round-Up, English gardeners are wrecking the planet and if you absolutely love, love, love Gaia, you are probably fabulous.

All this (somewhat) explained and a delectable but deluded hottie too.

Part One: Al Gore & Friends

Al is back and blogging, but unless he returns to jetting around the world to wreak Gore Effect cold spells with a side of hypocrisy this section may be renamed or retired.

In an email exchange with a fellow climate blogger I referred to Al as the incredible shrinking guru - and his blogs pretty much back support that assessment:

Al praised ABC news for linking Aussie floods to global warming - because everything is caused by global warming and weather is climate when Al says it is, so shut up.

Al wrote about 2010 being tied for the warmest year on record. Which means in about the last 200 years - no biggie.

Wind power in Texas contributed 7.8% of Texan power in 2010, a number Al takes to mean that wind is taking off. Meanwhile his good ole buddy T. Boone can’t get out of wind fast enough. Now that’s more like taking off.

And that’s it. Three blog posts and nothing of consequence in any of them, it’s like drawing snark from a stone. We’ll give Al one more week to pull his socks up and provide a rich vein of comedy gold or he loses his own section. Use the comments to provide your suggestions for a new subject for part one, a complete retirement of the section, or even a Save Al campaign if you so desire.

Part Two: Hippies, Warmists & Scaremongers

Are there any actual activists in Britain, or are they all undercover cops? A third secret squirrel has been found lurking in the shadows of green groups - and more accusations that the said officers slept with hippie chicks. Even James Bond never sacrificed that much for Queen and country.

Brit Awards recipients will receive a revamped statuette this year designed by Vivienne Westwood. Each award comes with a message stamped on the base “Stop! Climate Change“. The chances of any award winners noticing the odd punctuation is low to none.

John Kerry tried to take advantage of the Tucson shootings to promote his global warming agenda. No, really.

Historians need to revise the reason for fall of the Roman empire. No longer was it caused by a gradual decline in power, listlessness in leadership and barbarian hordes - it was global warming that did it. Et tu, CO2?

The EPA has been given another $7 million to investigate ‘environmental justice’. If you’re fuzzy on what that means, here it is explained:

Environmental Justice is a left-wing activist concept in which poor communities are assumed to be more heavily affected by pollution because they are politically defenseless against polluters, and therefore it is up to the government to step in and provide assistance to redress the alleged imbalance.

More government - of course! What could possibly go wrong?

Aussie Green leader Bob Brown blamed the devastating floods on global warming, but instead of being supported, other parties rushed to condemn his opportunism. Wait, what?

Species living in the tropics will die first because of global warming.

A Grister flies so that you don’t have to, or something. File under ‘the rules don’t apply to me, peons’ section.

Some of the most eco-friendly people on Gaia are gay:

“Gay and lesbian people vote progressively, so it seems natural that they would live progressively — like being ‘green,’ for example. Also, many LGBT people live in urban areas, which are hotbeds for environmentally conscious ideas and lifestyles.”

Not mentioned are the hordes of fabulous hosts on HGTV that routinely exploit Gaia for gayer decor.

A global warming scientist has figured out how to make deniers go away - simply reverse the scientific process to push the burden of proof onto those who disagree with you. Brilliant! Also brilliant - the WUWT takedown.

Global warming muppet Jim Hansen prefers China-style dictatorship over democracy because the latter resists the steps he thinks necessary to save us from a trace gas essential to life on Earth. Hansen is a government employee and his many years of on-the-job activism is about to give the NASA man a close encounter of the FOI kind.

Hansen’s BFF Michael ‘Stick’ Mann’s University of Virginia work is still under investigation by the state’s DA, but two state legislators have jumped in to protect him by attempting to retroactively change the law so that the documents may remain private. What exactly is in these documents that warmists are so afraid we’ll discover? Already there are some financial incentives on offer for any potential whistleblowers. Climategate II, anyone?

President Obama promised that under his watch energy prices would necessarily skyrocket. Turns out he wasn’t kidding - he just axed a huge coal project in West Virginia.

Andrew Bolt knows that the warmists were wrong about either droughts or floods - but which is it?

Uh oh, looks like the Governator might have been too good at stopping global warming. California may suffer superstorms.

As the global warming hoax falls apart, those with vested interests seek to protect their future. Not deranged hippies this time, but your local utility.

Exposed - the green climate monster behind any freak weather event. It’s like Cthulhu for hippies.

Pity the once noble Nobel and how it has become a flag of credibility convenience for any IPCC member that wants to lend his crank research an air of respectability.

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

California passed AB-32 after a bitter campaign in which those against the state’s global warming law were demonized a big oil stooges, but the supporters outspent the opponents 3-1, and for what?

Robert Michaels of California State University, Fullerton[‘s]…paper explains in great detail the many ways in which CARB’s economic modeling of AB 32 is fatally flawed and how CARB threatens California’s economic welfare. Here are a few of the key findings:

• “There are no world climate benefits from AB 32. California’s greenhouse gas emissions are only 2 percent of global emissions, and its share is falling as those from China and the developing world rapidly rise.”
• “CARB’s results come from a computer model that is by its own admission unreal. In the model, it is mathematically impossible to have unemployment as high as prevails today, and the model does not allow climate policy to change the rate at which unprofitable businesses close or leave the state.”
• “ To create benefits from costly command-and-control regulations, CARB assumes that Californians do not know best what works for their own lives, but that CARB’s choices are economically superior—a heroic and unsupportable assumption.”

The IPCC views Freedom of Information (FOI) requests as an attack to be defended against. How scientific of them.

Ontario has committed itself to wind power despite the impossible cost of subsidies and the inescapable inefficiencies of giant bird shredders. Now, however, the Liberal dream is turning sour.

Climate tipping point, what tipping point?

Ireland’s politicians are finding that people are really not so happy about proposed climate laws. Funny how a financial crisis can focus a populace on what problems are real and which are just daft.

Is Canada the canary in the global coal mine signaling the collapse of political support for global warming? Liberals in BC run from their own carbon tax and the main opposition party in Ontario believes that attacking the government’s green agenda is a vote winner.

The US government is watching as its solar dreams wither under the heat of a merciless truth that it cannot survive without subsidies. That’s if the project can even get started without facing legal challenges from hippies. Wait, what?

Electric cars are as much a fad of the day as 3D televisions are - all marketing and no demand. Hippies should absolutely buy electric vehicles, as long as they don’t mind taking 4 days to complete a 6-hour drive. Another inconvenient truth is that in California, the spiritual home of the EV, cars that rely on electricity are unlikely to be economic because of the high price of power. Golden state residents can thank the rich and famous who supported AB-32 for their soon-to-be-unaffordable electricity.

Queensland Australia has experienced the problem of preparing for the wrong emergency. Warmists so convinced the government that drought was the ongoing future that $13 billion was spent on desalination plants and nothing on dams. The results of that policy are all over the news, yet still fervent warmists hold the line.

Using the EPA against itself, a how-to-guide for protesting CFL mercury toxic bombs to your government representative.

Tom Nelson asks a good question about spending $45 trillion on the results of bad code.

From the ‘things that shouldn’t need saying’ department - CO2 is not a pollutant.

A global warming study was withdrawn after it was discovered its conclusions were impossible. No, it wasn’t IPCC AR4. You wish.

Pesky Arctic ice keeps expanding and spoiling the narrative.

Government mandated CFL light bulbs are not as long-lived as claimed, a fact that seriously weakens the argument for their use. That and the danger of mercury poisoning.

Pesky species refuse to die out on schedule and make warmists look like fools - endangered frogs, aren’t so endangered.

Part Four: AGW in the News

The BBC reports that it’s too late to save ourselves from slightly milder weather caused by plant food. Oh the humanity.

If a warmist story falls by the wayside, does it make a sound? Why yes, it does - a wailing sound:

Believe it or not, record warming of the Earth no longer seems to be news as far as the UK media are concerned.

According to the EPA, some fuels are more equal than others when it comes to allowing carbon emissions.

UK retailers are found to have fishy labeling on cod packages.

The Royal Horticultural Society tells members to plant drought resistant flowers in preparation for global warming. In fact, according to the RHS, English gardeners are killing Gaia in all sorts of ways:

The UK government is looking at ways to ease high fuel prices. The irony of course is that the government’s own fuel levy causes the high price of fuel.

Queensland has announced an enquiry into the flooding of large parts of the region - which may cause political opportunists and warmists who blocked dam projects to scurry away like rats. We can hope.

Spiked calls a new exhibit at London’s Science Museum ‘A tedious dollop of eco?propaganda‘:

…the exhibition has not really been designed to introduce minds to a new avenue of discovery; its purpose is to get them to be obedient to environmental diktats.

The LA Times ignores growing Arctic ice and instead imagines a world which warms because less ice reflects less sunlight back into space. Does anyone have the heart to tell the LAT that the Arctic is pretty much in the dark for 6 months of the year?

Researchers might resurrect the woolly mammoth in five years. What could possibly go wrong?

Australia celebrates man’s triumph over global warming.

The Austrian carbon trading registry was hacked and shut down. It may be months before the EU markets can re-open. Thanks, hackers.

Shale gas deposits are popping up with more regularity than tweets about Justin Beiber’s haircut - which is good news for people who like affordable energy and really bad news for hippies that want giant bird shredders all over the landscape.

Aussie national broadcaster ABC is unable to offer viewers a full picture of the events in Queensland because the truth does not support their narrative on global warming. So they interview a hack and ignore an expert.

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Part Five: Global Hottie

We mentioned the Hollywood set that supported AB-32, the legislation that may spark the great California exodus, so this week’s hottie was one of those lending her voice to the chorus of support for the global warming law. When life gives you lemons, turn them into global hotties. Welcome the lovely but misguided Amy Smart to the round-up, because being pretty buys a lot of forgiveness.

Thanks for reading.