Extinctions R Us

Pity the Alaotra grebe, for it is dead. Or, if you’re a biologist, extinct, which is really dead.

The ex-Madagascan bird hasn’t been seen for 25 years, which is almost certainly caused by it no longer existing.

Any species shuffling off this mortal coil is sad, but the hapless grebe is being hailed as a canary in the coal mine for a pending mass extinction event:

A rare Madagascan wetland bird has been declared extinct in what scientists believe may herald the beginning of a global catastrophe only recorded five times in Earth’s history. The dying out of the Alaotra grebe, found only in Madagascar and not seen for 25 years, has led biologists to claim we are on the verge of the ‘sixth great extinction’.

The previous five cataclysmic events during Earth’s prehistory, such as the extinction of dinosaurs 65 million years ago possibly caused by a meteorite hitting Earth, were naturally caused. This is the first time humans have been implicated in causing mass global extinction.

See what you and your SUV did now? Mass extinction. It’s only happened five times before in the planet’s history without man, so clearly this is all your fault. The Daily Mail has this handy graphic to explain how factories emitting a trace gas that feeds plants has the same cataclysmic power as an asteroid from space, or something:

Once every 60 to 140 million years or so, the planet cleans house and resets the species count. The last mass extinction was 65 million years ago, so we’re in the geologic time frame window for another reboot. If there is another extinction event coming, rest assured that the only reason to blame mankind is because someone, somewhere needs a study funded.

Round-Up tomorrow.