Researchers have discovered the real culprits behind global warming; fat people.
Fat folks are killing the planet by using more than their fair share of everything with increased consumption. Fat people eat more meat, drink more drink, eat more potato chips, eat more stuff. The number of ways that chunky chubbies threaten our planet is almost endless, like a $5 all you can eat buffet in Vegas.
With the completely credible science behind this revealing study however, no longer will overstuffed climate criminals be able to escape the truth of their Gaia-wrecking ways by purchasing couch offsets and sympathizing with Oprah. We’re on to you, lardies, and we can run faster than you.
News Flash: Researchers at The Daily Bayonet have uncovered ‘patient zero’ in the fat phenomenon: