Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, June 16th 2011

A pesky trace gas outwits climate science by adopting the Obama doctrine, the Sun may set on alarmist fantasies and Greenpeace buys a yacht.

All this, plus a hottie and more links than you can shake a stick at in your GWHWRU (pronounced ‘gwhwru’).

Part One: Hippie of the Week

This week, the HOTW was a closely contested, err, contest. Angelina Jolie’s handbag versus a dyed-in-the-wool alarmist. Who to pick?

The alarmist, that’s who. We’ll give Ms Jolie a pass for her good works in other areas, which means big bad Lester Brown is Hippie of the Week. Brown has a long history of blaming mankind for weather climate, but he wins HOTW for his plan to prevent disasters:

The world needs to get serious about fighting climate change if it wants to stop an increasing number of natural disasters seen in recent years, because just changing the type of light bulbs we use and recycling our newspapers is not nearly enough to save the environment, cautions a world-renowned author and environmentalist.

“The basic point is that, it’s the old adage, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,” said Lester Brown in an interview last week from the Earth Policy Institute in Washington, D.C. “We know the best way to manage disasters is to prevent them in the first place.” Brown, who has authored more than 50 books on environmental issues, will deliver this ominous message in Toronto at the upcoming 21st World Conference on Disaster Management.

It would be worth the price of admission to discover how Captain Planet intends to prevent disasters like hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, drought, flood and giant lizard monsters from Mars.

Earth is a planet. It’ll do what it darned well pleases, whenever it pleases and (gasp) there’s not a thing Lester Brown can do about it. Unless he really is Captain Planet, in which case I stand corrected.

Part Two: Warmists & Scaremongers

The IPCC is in trouble again. For an organization of supposedly wicked smaht folks, they are astoundingly ignorant of their own faults. After the mess of Himalayagate, you’d think the IPCC would know enough not to : a) make crazy claims, and b) not allow NGO’s to author the crazy claims. But you’d be wrong:

“Close to 80 percent of the world‘s energy supply could be met by renewables by mid-century if backed by the right enabling public policies, a new report shows.” The basis for this claim is a Greenpeace scenario. The Lead Author of the IPCC assessment of the Greenpeace scenario was the same Greenpeace employee who had prepared the Greenpeace scenarios, the introduction to which was written by IPCC chair Pachauri.

Donna Laframboise notes that the IPCC and Pachauri haven’t learned anything. The UN organization is about to learn the tough lesson that credibility is not a renewable resource.

California hippies don’t want an essential flood control dam maintained because some willows grew there since the last clean-up. This is not a good thing for residents of LA who prefer not to return to the bad old days of routine, devastating floods. Someone should call Captain Planet and discuss that whole ‘prevention’ thing.

Oh noes, global warming is causing cows to breed at the wrong time, with fewer calves. Or not, if you care to peek behind the curtain.

American car owners will soon be able to thank the EPA for broken engines, and the world’s poor will be able to thank them for pricing food staples out of reach. E15 gas, you know it makes sense.

Scots salmon are more wee thanks to global warming.

Warmists have decided that it’s no fun trying to convince sane, thinking people that a trace gas essential to life on Earth is a threat to the future of the planet. So they’re going after kids. Bill Nye, the not-terribly-good-at-science guy, is taking the same track. In both cases, warmists feel the need to propagandize children as they blame skeptics for not believing them. The problem isn’t skeptics, but the dodgy science they’re trying to peddle.

Greenpeace is accused of being out of touch, and denies it. In not at all related news, Greenpeace has commissioned a new 60m yacht:

Greenpeace’s operations director, explains, “You can imagine that the wish list we got was quite a long one.” From it was developed a functional specification of 12 closely typed pages. One of the more insistent requirements, particularly from long-term crew members with the scent of old voyages to the Arctic or up the Amazon still vivid, was for a shower in each double cabin

I sense a rich new vein of material has been discovered.

Tim Flannery says some Pacific islands have been evacuated because of rising sea levels. Pesky Andrew Bolt asks, which islands, exactly? Answer: crickets, chirping.

Hippie shoppers go street. Good fun:

..

Oh noes, global warming will cause a surge in jellyfish numbers, which in turn will turn areas of the ocean into uninhabitable acid dead zones. Add it to The List.

Green on Green action of the week. It’s a Kos kid versus every hippie who blames a weather event on global warming:

…not every single event is due to the climate’s change. If all of this stuff is happening due to climate change, we don’t yet have the trends to back it up. Wait until we do. Until then, warn about the dangers of climate change, don’t say everything happened because of it.

Being a climate scaremonger is bad for your mental health. No, really.

We often feel like we are living in a parallel universe. Don’t people see that we are headed straight off a cliff? How could they possibly continue to argue that there is legitimate dispute about whether or not the planet is warming? How could the ones who know that it is warming leave all their incandescent bulbs on? Leave their SUV idling? Blast the heat and open the windows? Toss their water bottle in the trash? And sit out this fight of a lifetime, this fight for our lives? We are obsessed and alone and sometimes we or our loved ones literally have to ban the topic from conversation rather than repeat ourselves again. And again. And again.

Green policies might be pro-planet, but they’re no good for the people living on it.

Grist suggests that fewer coal plants are a good thing. And they’re right, as long as you don’t want plenty of affordable, reliable power. The article suggests that solar, wind and geothermal create double the number of jobs that fossil fuels create. Which is a testament only to their gross inefficiency. For hippies, efficiency is what you want when you’re using your own money to achieve something.

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

It’s the Sun, stupid. Although we better hope it’s not, since things are awful quiet on Sol these days. Milloy has words for a warmist who thinks a Little Ice Age might slow down global warming. For the smartest analysis of why a quiet sun is a very bad thing and is even worse for warmists, you need to read this. I’d give you an excerpt, but it’s long and needs to be read in toto. National Geographic has a look too.

Fossils fuel debate. See what I did there?

Dr Deacon contends that humans increased production of carbon dioxide is making the world warmer, in fact scientific research shows that “as the earth warms, usually through natural causes, the carbon dioxide levels follow.”

Clever CO2 has adopted the Obama doctrine of leading from behind, or something.

Addicted to oil? Hell no.

Uh oh, Americans still aren’t buying into global warming.

A utility figures it’s cheaper to close coal plants than make them comply to new EPA standards. It’s okay, its all part of the plan for your energy costs to necessarily skyrocket.

Ethanol survived an attempt to end its subsidies* and in return promises to be a very big problem well into the future:

By mandating 40% of our corn crop be dedicated to ethanol, we’ve created domestic shortages that may turn the U.S. into a net importer of corn and destroy our dominance in one more area of the world economy.

*UPDATE: Today (Thursday), Ethanol subsidies were ended when a rare intersection of common sense and common purpose occurred.

Unintended consequences are to greens what an Acme crate is to Wile. E. Coyote. Hippies celebrated when Germany announced it would shutter its nukes without giving a thought to how the country might fill the energy gap. More coal and gas plants with more ‘carbon pollution’, that’s how. Well played, hippies, well played indeed.

Wind turbines produce little power, shred birds with alarming regularity and they’re not even recyclable. Face, meet palm.

British kids will be taught proper science in future as a study recommends ‘fad’ science like global warming be replaced with ‘fact’ science. Aussie moppets are not as fortunate.

Charlie don’t surf. But Charlie is doing his best to make the seas rise, or something.

Tom Nelson, master of the pithy question, twice:

Part Four: AGW in the News

James Delingpole, unleashed:

…“Climate Change”. Never before in history, I doubt, has so much money ever been squandered, so much suffering and poverty exacerbated, so much economic damage been inflicted, so many lies promulgated and so much environmental destruction wrought in order to deal with a problem so microscopically miniscule. Really, if Barack Obama were to declare war on Belgium because he’d always found Tintin Au Congo offensively racist, or if David Cameron were to launch a nuclear strike on Mykonos because all those white-painted buildings were “way too gay”, you still wouldn’t be even half way close to equalling the quite breathtaking stupidity, purblind ignorance and suicidal wrongheadedness of the disasters currently being inflicted on the world by our boneheaded political and administrative classes on their holy mission to “combat climate change.”

In Ontario, Dalton McGuinty’s green dream is turning into a green nightmare. But at least we can finally explain how he kept winning elections.

Would you like some tort with that? Billions of people face a suit for not taking care of the climate.

How to create an energy crisis, and the US is on the south beach energy diet.

The UK is paying wind producers to turn their giant bird shredders off about 10% of the year.

Wind farm operators were paid £2.6 million to keep their turbines idle last month in the latest stealth charge on household power bills and the cost of switching them off is likely to rise.

Pop quiz. Pick your answer before clicking the link. What event caused utilities and governments to consider shutting down power grids this week?

• a) Rabid polar bears fleeing a melting Arctic ice cap
• b) CO2
• c) Solar storms
• d) Greenpeace hippies climbing on things that don’t belong to them

Insert your answer into the following sentence, “It’s the _____, stupid.”

Why do Nissan Leaf and Chevy Volt drivers hate Gaia?

…a mid-size electric car would produce 23.1 tonnes of CO2 over its lifetime, compared with 24 tonnes for a similar petrol car. Emissions from manufacturing electric cars are at least 50 per cent higher because batteries are made from materials such as lithium, copper and refined silicon, which require much energy to be processed.

Julia Gillard, carbon tax crusader and lonely heart.

We could be facing a Little Ice Age, but fear not, JD has 10 fun reasons to be cheerful when it’s freezing cold.

Three years into his administration, President Obama admits his energy policy is a ‘hodgepodge’:

“We’ve got more work to do,” Obama continued. “Our energy policy still is just a hodgepodge, and for all the progress we’ve made, we’re not where we need to be in making sure that this is an energy-efficient economy that is running on all cylinders.”

And by running on all cylinders, he means crippled by rising energy costs, rampant unemployment and ballooning debt.

Doctors discover that global warming makes allergies worse. Also, it causes lyme disease, heart disease, blood pressure and agenda-driven doctors.

The planet has a fevah and the only cure is more spending:

… the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) requests $2.2 billion, an increase of 58 percent to restore climate sensors, advance sea height monitoring, and fund a polar satellite system. NASA wants a 27 percent increase, partly to initiate a new climate related mission and re-launch the Orbiting Carbon Observatory to monitor carbon sources throughout the world

Part Five: Global Hottie

The Daily Bayonet has a disaster movie weakness. Together with a zombie movie fondness, it could be argued this is not a good thing. Yet, Battle: Los Angeles not only turned out to be quite good fun, it also starred Bridget Moynahan. Which gave me an idea. You’re welcome. Ms. Moynahan is making her first Round-Up appearance. give her a warm welcome.

Thanks for reading.